How do you discipline your children?
When I was younger, I vowed never to spank my kids nor to subject them to any physical punishment. I just didn't think it would work. I would see my friends being physically subjected to violence and I saw how they eventually rebelled against their parents.
I knew this would only work if my husband-to-be would also agree on me on this point. So I was very thankful when my husband +Dante Valenzuela Jr. also had the same view point as mine. No spanking, no physical violence, no shouting (although this happens sometimes).
Of course, when they were still young it was difficult to discipline them. You cannot expect a 1 or 2 year old child to understand. However, when they turned 3, it's easier for them to understand their mistakes and it's easier to make them understand.
So how do we discipline them right now? Whenever my kids do something wrong, I talk to them and point out what they did wrong. I tell them calmly. Shouting does not really work. If I raise my voice, my kids would just answer back, "Why are you shouting Ma?". So definitely, I try not to shout (although sometimes I am guilty of this). If, however, what they did was too much, that's when I let them face the wall. Eventually, after a few minutes, after they have calmed down, I talk to them and point out their mistakes. I ask them what they think they did wrong and I let them explain why they did it. I notice that when I tell them what they did wrong and when they affirm what they did wrong, it's easier for them to understand their mistakes. So after the pep talk, I ask them again what they did wrong, they answer me back. They know.
I guess this is what i love about merely talking to children. Talking to them and letting them speak out their mind allows them to understand that I am mad at the mistake but I am not mad at them. This is how I want them to grow up. I want them to understand that Mama is not mad at them but that Mama is mad at the mistake they made, and that despite the many mistakes that they commit, Mama will always love them.
At the end of our pep talk, when everything else has been cleared, I hug them and tell them "I love you." What about you, how do you discipline your kids?
I knew this would only work if my husband-to-be would also agree on me on this point. So I was very thankful when my husband +Dante Valenzuela Jr. also had the same view point as mine. No spanking, no physical violence, no shouting (although this happens sometimes).
Of course, when they were still young it was difficult to discipline them. You cannot expect a 1 or 2 year old child to understand. However, when they turned 3, it's easier for them to understand their mistakes and it's easier to make them understand.
So how do we discipline them right now? Whenever my kids do something wrong, I talk to them and point out what they did wrong. I tell them calmly. Shouting does not really work. If I raise my voice, my kids would just answer back, "Why are you shouting Ma?". So definitely, I try not to shout (although sometimes I am guilty of this). If, however, what they did was too much, that's when I let them face the wall. Eventually, after a few minutes, after they have calmed down, I talk to them and point out their mistakes. I ask them what they think they did wrong and I let them explain why they did it. I notice that when I tell them what they did wrong and when they affirm what they did wrong, it's easier for them to understand their mistakes. So after the pep talk, I ask them again what they did wrong, they answer me back. They know.
I guess this is what i love about merely talking to children. Talking to them and letting them speak out their mind allows them to understand that I am mad at the mistake but I am not mad at them. This is how I want them to grow up. I want them to understand that Mama is not mad at them but that Mama is mad at the mistake they made, and that despite the many mistakes that they commit, Mama will always love them.
At the end of our pep talk, when everything else has been cleared, I hug them and tell them "I love you." What about you, how do you discipline your kids?
when i have kids, i don't think kaya nako ni kasi i easily flare up... wild dayon ko... i salute you, sword :) congratulations! u r one great mother... :)
ReplyDeletedon't worry.. you will learn to be more patient when you will have kids.. ana pud baya ko sa una, i easily flare up.. hehehe.. but when i had kids, i became extra patient.. as in super extra patient dyud :)
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